Little Girl

Hey little girl, don't touch that. The little girl stops to touch it. Hey little girl, don't say that. The little girl stops saying it. Hey little girl, don't do that. Little girl stops doing that. Hey little girl, stop being that. Little girl stops being that. Hey little girl don't sing that. The little girl stops singing. Hey little girl, Hey little girl, little girl, little girl, girl, girl, girl, girl! Ahhhhh. Let me be me. I'm so fucking proud to be me this day. I could care less if others have a problem.

Julicia Salvatore

Heart Fragments

I hear my heart beating against my flesh but at the same time I can't hear it. I jolt up in a frenzy and put my hand to my chest, wondering if my heart's still beating. I feel the faint bump as it resonates deeply in my chest. I look at the clock and it's 2am. No one is up. I feel all the pain of yesterday's moments flooding in. I'm hurt. I go to the fridge and grab some water just for it to fall to the floor and I'm crying. It's embarrassing if someone walked in so I crawl to the wash room so that no one hears me. All these moments of failure, losses and heart break start doing me in and all I can do is shed tears but no one will know or hear the tears that I cry because I shake it off and kiss it goodbye. Tomorrow is waiting and I can't leave my babies behind so fuck depression, I hope I'm the exception to suicide. I could never leave you. Yes, this life is tough but I'll never leave you. Yes, my heart is broken, but I'll never you. Yes, it hurts sometimes but I'll never leave you. I'll never leave you.

Pistol Rose

I wish people would stop looking at me. My paranoia clips onto me like a vice grip. Sometimes I'm good and sometimes I'm not. Sometimes I want to rip the sky apart until I see the Universe. I have a bone to pick with my God. That God is me. I have a bone to pick with myself. The love I feel is a Pistol Rose, and it's ready to blow at any minute.

Julicia Salvatore

Shattered Skin

I'm in a body that I sometimes don't take care of. The little warm pit in the center of me makes me feel guarded. I love myself but I'm shattering layers of me that I don't need. Layers of me that I hate. When can I finally feel fully free? I write until my skin shatters on the page. I want this. Peel me apart like a fruit. Only hitting the center of me is what will make me come alive again. I'm screaming to just fully breathe again. Let me live. I just want to live.

Julicia Salvatore

Grave For My Pain

I want to bury all these catastrophic thoughts. Bad things shuffle through my brain, making me feel as if I don't fall on my knees and crawl, I'll go insane. I don't know what this path is filled with. I touch the ground but I can't wake up. I'm asleep at the wheel and I don't know where life is leading me. Can I just dig? Dig until my questions are answered. Dig until my brain stops rushing. Dig until my heart stops bleeding from the pain that makes me jaded. Dig until I can feel again because my heart is so numb. Dig until I can really feel the air in my lungs. Dig until the pain stops. I don't know where to burry my head. Perhaps my head is graveless and the pain will never end.

Julicia Salvatore 💙

Salted Tears

Life can become confusing at times when you feel alone. You run your fingertips across the wall after a midnight dream. You stare out your back door wondering why life can feel this lonely. It doesn’t matter if you have someone next to you. The world can still feel so cold. I live in a world where people are selfish. This is a world where I can’t be myself. My heart aches and it makes me feel like my bones silently break. My tears fall from my eyes and the salt from my tears penetrate my skin, drying it out. How many more salted tears will fall?

Julicia Salvatore

Treasure Heart…

I can write something a billion times over but it will never show that my words will love everyone more than I can say. My treasure is the love I have for my family. But what if they think words are meaningless. What if im crazy? What do I do if my treasure heart falls apart? What do I l give when there is nothing else for me to give?

Garden Grip

A sweet breeze blows by the dirt, letting a few pieces of the ground unearth. A whistling sound goes through the wind blowing speckles of rock and debris across the land. Something pushes against the opening of the ground. Almost like a slamming sound. The ground splits, letting open the escape of a lifeless beautiful female human body. Giga gripped to the roots from the underworld. As the roots spread around and grow into a garden of trees, bushes, and flowers around her. Her body is cold, but it slowly warms as the dirt on her eyelids begin to fall to her cheek. Her brown eyes open and she feels oxygen join her lungs. She inhales while her big pretty eyes feels the feeling of life again. Her mind says to her self. I'm back. Garden gripped.

Old Fashioned Love

He looked at her, walking across the isles. She was beautiful. His eyes dilated as she continued to shop for what she needed at her home. As he looked closer, he noticed something in her eyes. Something that made him feel the pain of a stranger. He was afraid if he touched her, she would crumble to pieces. A fragile female. So he stood where he was. Afraid. But he reminded himself if he stood and did nothing, she would never know how much some one else would adore her. He approached her, grabbing the box of quick mix that she couldn't reach. He said hey girl…what are you doing trying to climb on these shelves. The entire lot would fall down upon your hands. She looked at him and her eyes grew huge in admiration. She said “No sir, I was just trying to get a handsome guy like you to come over.” He’s flattered but his eyes squint. “So, you’re not taken?” he asked. “Well…not anymore.” She said. She looks away feeling bashful. “You don't have to explain.” He said. “I think and I know you're beautiful. Forget about that dude. I’ll stitch your pretty little heart back up to love again. I’m a man of my word.” he said. She trembled as she grabbed the box of quick miss that she honestly didn't care about. Her eyes watered and he said “Careful now. If I touch you I feel I may break you as hurt as you are.” She grabbed the bottom hem of his shirt, tugging gently. And that was the beginning of a love story

Resuscitation Heart

Resuscitate me as my heart continues to bleed and beat, yet my heart is still broken. Resuscitate me back into this world. Resuscitate all of my hopes and dreams that floated away from me. Resuscitate all the loves that could have happened but they didn't. Resuscitate my soul. Resuscitate my dignity. Make me me again. Resuscitate everyone that I’ve lost in this world. Hold my heart close in your hands while it’s still beating. Resuscitate my trust. Resuscitate my love. Resuscitate me believing that I’m not the only one fighting for humans to forgive each other and love each other. Resuscitate what I felt before I was in this pain. A heart breaks and crumbles. Resuscitation may never bring me back. ❤️

Personal message: To all the ones fighting to hang on. Keep hanging on. Our battle isn’t over yet. Don’t exit out. We need you.

Love Julicia Salvatore

Replica

The ground beneath my feet has a funny way of reminding me that I’m alive. My body hits the ground from exertion as my thoughts get the better of me. The sky above me seems to not feel so far away as my vision engulfs in a translucent stare. A blank stare to others. A replication of me comes to stand by me as I continue to stare into the outside world. She calls me…mom. Suddenly all of my thoughts retrieve themselves and I turn my eyes towards one of the most beautiful things I made on the planet. With all my dark desires and all the pain in my heart, I’m once guided back to safety with the words I love you. You’re forever a replica of me.

Julicia Salvatore 💋

Dark Snuggle

The moonlight sits still by the half opened window as a cool breeze blows in. I see you churn in your sleep, turning your body towards me. Your pale skin glowed as the soft breeze blew through your silver hair. I’ve gotten used to your skin. Ice cold, yet warm. It’s a phenomenon to me. You feel me scoot closer, and then your green eyes open, watching my big blue ones. You don't say a word but I assume I know what you’re thinking. I feel intimidated. You’re a wild man. A wild man, yet you make me feel safe but what if you hurt me? The fact of not being in control at the point as a female versus male makes me partially resentful but this creature before me looks at me with respect. He swims through my energy fields, matching in all the spots that’s just right. You grab me with your manly strength and rugged breathing, placing your soft Ausmoralian lips against my forehead. I could almost hear your heart beat, but how? You’re a demon and an angel combined. My darkest love. My sweetest love, yet darkest snuggle. Don’t let me go. It’s so comfortable here. Don't let me face light without you.

Julicia Salvatore

Flesh Crawler

My flesh crawls when I think about the people closest to me leaving me on this planet. The warm water against my skin in the shower doesn't even sooth me. I stand there. Afraid. Wondering why life is so cruel. To take away the beings that I hold dear by the expiration of the human body. Perhaps that's why I'm so entertained of vampirism. I want my mother and father alive forever. I can't give them that gift. I feel powerless. Defeated. I want to even grant myself that gift. But I can't. So I cry. It's crippling. It hurts. So my flesh crawls to it's grave with the cycle of life. I'm disgusted by the cycle of life. My end is something I never wanted to happen.

Walking the World Without You

It’s cold sometimes and I shiver. The thoughts of not being able to hold you close to me makes me sad. I pace the room imagining what it would feel like to connect with you and feel you against me physically. It’s like realms passing by and I feel your energy. You’re there but I can’t grab you. I hear you, but I can’t talk to you. I need you but I can’t have you…yet. When the time comes, this love even eons away will connect with you and it’s enough energy to destroy planets. My universe is me and your universe collides with mine. What a beautiful thing to look forward to.

Julicia Salvatore

Dripping Cherry Blood

There she was, standing in the glow of the sunset that cast throughout the library. The light hit her skin just right, making her look ever more tangible. Lurking eyes gazed at her through the pillars of books. The man behind the eyes slowly paced himself, trying to control his ragged breathing. It was hard, amongst other things in him as well. He wanted her. There was a tiny box in his mind next to her name, waiting to be checked off. The way she placed her books on the counter top to check out, drove him wild. He could smell the scent of her from afar as her red hair swayed with every move she made. With fangs emerging, he would have her at nightfall. Once away from the exposure of the day. It was his mission to claim her and make her never forget him.

Julicia Salvatore

Broken Pistol

I robbed myself of love when my heart chose to love you. Things like that happen when you’ve already dealt with trauma. Some people get their kicks and laugh when they think you're failing but in reality their laughter is of themselves and their personal demise. I have been broken a thousand times over on the one love that I thought was forever. The gas lighter. So take this broken Pistol as I beat it against your head so that I can actually have a reason to be the bad guy. The blood is all there. When you find out the weapon, the broken Pistol was my heart. You never cared to salvage it.

The Love To My Soul Life Doesn’t Live on Earth

I feel happy most days. I wake up to my kids hugging me and telling me “I’m the best mama.” I always say I love them back. Perhaps that's what keeps me somewhat on track. I feel grumpy and just want to get 10 more minutes of sleep but I see their smiling face and their love I want to forever keep. So, I smile and get up anyway because they make me happy and I want to make them happy too. I get distracted by the typical society, doing the same thing over and over. But, at night I get sad. This deep overwhelming feeling of sadness fills me once my kids fall asleep. I analyze my life each night on what I’ve done. Only to waste my time even more. I want to write but the pen wiggles. I feel like I want to die or am going to die but I don’t. Then the word LOVE, cross through my brain. Not the motherly love I feel for my kids. But for a love that I possibly and will most likely never meet. My hands fall flat and I drop the pen. Another bullshit night wasted again. I beat myself up, drink, and cry to sleep. Why can’t I just write and finish this thing? There's something in the way and as I decipher all my problems, the results come back and the problem is me. I’m not made to love romantically on this Earth. I sometimes feel something that I feel isn't of this world. He has silver hair and a venomous tongue. Handsome as a devil and will bite me numb. He loves every part of me. The dark parts and the parts most people will say is the light part of the heart. I can only see him when I’m alone or sleeping. I don’t know if it’s just my imagination or if he’s really there. But I love him. I know this makes no sense to others but…I’m absolutely smitten with someone who isn’t there.

Julicia Salvatore 🖤💜🖤💜🖤

The Core of Me

Silence happens most days. Some days it gets a bit noisy. Where exactly? My head. Tick. Tick. That’s the sound of my brain thumping against my skull. It creates a dark rhythm. The rhythm to hear all the souls who left the human experience too soon. I feel that. Vigorously. I start to ignite every passion they had that they wanted to fulfill before they were dead. All the dead in this world, belongs in me. I get so sad sometimes because I take the weight of all the sadness of the forgotten. That’s why I’m powerful in a way. I'm a vessel, but at the same time, I break too. I don’t like to cause havoc, but so be it for the creatures of my, and the universes creation. I am of the universe. I claim every human experience around me, but get to experience it myself as well. This is the core of me. The beloved darkness and the tranquility of light hanging in the background of all of your lives.

Your dearly beloved,

Julicia Salvatore

This time there is a P.S.

P.S. Do you still love me when I’m manic?

You Never Know

I am the rejected and the one who family says I am the bad one. No. Kiss the beauty of my ass. Just like Takijita, I will destroy you and don’t trust anyone. Get your ass some business because you aren’t none of mine. Let me fly and I do fly but you hate me because you aren't flying. I won’t name this person but you hurt me. I’ll let my money talk. Something you’ll never get. Get bent.

Just a Salvatore Feeling

When my love finds me, I will slap him across the face like in the 50’s movies and say...what took you so long? Then he will grab my throat and say, it didn't. Time just doesn't exist when it comes to this love thing. At least, not this type of love. And I'll smile and giggle because it's all a girl really wants. I'd even wear dresses for him and I don't wear dresses lmao.