I hear my heart beating against my flesh but at the same time I can't hear it. I jolt up in a frenzy and put my hand to my chest, wondering if my heart's still beating. I feel the faint bump as it resonates deeply in my chest. I look at the clock and it's 2am. No one is up. I feel all the pain of yesterday's moments flooding in. I'm hurt. I go to the fridge and grab some water just for it to fall to the floor and I'm crying. It's embarrassing if someone walked in so I crawl to the wash room so that no one hears me. All these moments of failure, losses and heart break start doing me in and all I can do is shed tears but no one will know or hear the tears that I cry because I shake it off and kiss it goodbye. Tomorrow is waiting and I can't leave my babies behind so fuck depression, I hope I'm the exception to suicide. I could never leave you. Yes, this life is tough but I'll never leave you. Yes, my heart is broken, but I'll never you. Yes, it hurts sometimes but I'll never leave you. I'll never leave you.