Lately, I find myself unable to go to sleep. Not for the lack of being tired but more so of that I just feel saddened to fall asleep. Falling asleep without you. Without the one I’ve created in my head. It’s like I don’t want to stay up but I don’t want to close my eyes either because if I’m not writing, you go away. I’m afraid of things being the end at times. It’s as if I wished the days were just a bit longer, or slower. When I’m all finished with the daily tasks and I’m sitting writing of you, I’m happy. I’m even happier, when I’m drawing you. But to see the clock flash 2 am and I’m still wide awake, wanting to continue to connect with you in our secret world, makes me want to cry. Perhaps it’s the reason why people will never understand why I hide away and don’t want to talk because you’re captivating my mind. You merge with my world and I feel warm enough even though I can’t physically touch you. You’re something in my imagination that I don’t have the power to make come alive in this world. You only have paper skin and ink blood. That’s all that you are yet you mean so much more to me. So I’ll write. I’ll continue to write until my very last breath because until then you’re alive and that’s all that I need. My blood caffeine. Keep me awake, until the very end.

Love,

Julicia Salvatore